Drop Ball, Arguments & the Racist Taxi Driver

Monday 16th and I drive to the Rainbow room to set up laptops for the kids to use today. Marilyn Manson is playing, ‘Coma White’ from the Mechanical Animals album. Everyone arrives and we start the day with a quick game of drop ball. The iPod shuffles in the corner for a while, until Olivia and the others start to make their own music, using some DJ software I have brought in. The sound of drum beats, claps, slaps and pre-recorded bass lines reverberate around the room; a cacophony of synthesised noises.

After a brief trip in the sun to the park and a stroll around the local cemetery, we end the day listening to music on Olivia’s laptop. I drive home as Charice, sings her recent hit featuring Iyaz, ‘Pyramid’.

Tuesday 17th, and the rain welcomes me as I make a morning cuppa at 06.30. The Specimen are playing ‘Lovers’ as the toaster pops it’s contents up. The day looks dismal, but hopefully the activities we have planned will brighten us. I drive in as Mel B shuffles forward with ‘Tell Me’, from her rather disappointing solo album, ‘Hot’.

We decided to make our own pop video, so we chose a song from the 80’s and set about filming sequences.

Thursday 19. After a few games of ‘Drop Ball’ we set off to the park to film the last sequences for our music video. As usual, the boys fall out, one minute they're the best of friends, the next sworn enemies. Back at the room for lunch and the noise levels are deafening, as kids scream, shout and play music. I say play music, in reality all they do is skip tracks after ten seconds, so all we get to hear are intro’s from a smorgasbord of genres. As I write this Daniel has his blue iPod shuffle plugged into the speakers and Michael Jackson is playing, ‘Black and White’.

I nip to the shops to get dog food, Beyonce, is belting out ‘Crazy in Love’, I drive around the corner and a taxi blocks the road. I wait patiently for the taxi driver to let his customer leave the car. The driver then indicates that he wants me to reverse in a small gap so he can pass me, when he has ample space to reverse. The driver, a Pakistani, sticks two fingers up at me, I point out that I’m not the person parked so no one else can get past, to which he calls me a F#####g white c##t, before driving off. Now I have never been a racist and find the concept of racism abhorrent, however my tolerance towards young Pakistani men is beginning to wane. Every one I seem to come across has a bad attitude and is hostile.

Friday 20, I write this as Sylvester sings ‘How Great Thou Art’, I think the world lost an amazing talent when Sylvester James passed away in 1988. He is remembered as a flamboyant disco artist, but there was so much more in him. He was a great blues singer and exceptional entertainer. Sadly 41 years old is no age to take the stylus off the vinyl.

I drive to the final day of the Action Project, summer school for 2010, as Ultravox play ‘The Prize’ from their U-Vox album. There’ll be no prizes today for guessing who’ll be relieved to leave at 16.00 and start packing for next weeks flight to Italy.

Sunday comes around and after spending 9 hours yesterday in the kitchen, of course being entertained by the shuffling of songs, as I prepared food and tasty nibbles, all in readiness for Sunday’s al fresco day – a sort of barbecue without the barbecue, it’s an outdoor eating of Italian food in England. So as the iPod in the kitchen lets rip with a blast from the past: to coin a cliché, Kylie’s ‘I’ll Still Be Loving You’ from her debut album, I start to stuff cherry tomatoes with garlic and anchovies.

Blood Letters

Well I spent last week at The Action Project with 8 students, ages ranging from 5 to 12. We devised our own film, a sort of murder mystery. As soon as you ask young people what they want to film, it’s either horror or something where deaths and disaster feature. Monday I arrive with tripod and video camera and set up in the rehearsal space, with ‘Hey, Hey Disbeliever’ by The Living End playing on the iPod. Our small group of students arrive and we set to work sketching a storyline.

The week passes by quickly, as half the day is spent filming, and the other half playing a game we made up, called Drop Ball. It’s energetic and fast paced, so I’m knackered after a few minutes of playing.

On Friday, Olivia makes some very cool pictures of us using the Paint app in Windows.

Sunday 15.08.2010, and the film is completed, editing done and music added. I will post it here as soon as I get permission from the cast, as they’ve not seen it yet.

Roll on next week, we’re making music……….

Action Project

Monday 26.07.10 – I’m awake early and at 7.00 am I make myself a cuppa and turn on the iPod. I’m welcomed into the world by the fabulous Paolo Nutini, with ‘Simple Things’. A nice cheerful tune to start the day with. I make myself some breakfast and Howling Bells swap places with Paolo, with Let’s Be Kids’; How apt. Today is day one of The Action Project, and I dress and make sure I’ve got things ready for the day. I double check I’ve sorted out backing tracks and stash my notebook into my bag. I go to make a salad for lunch, when I open the bag of cherry tomatoes, purchased from a well know supermarket: No name’s mentioned, but let’s just say, I don’t expect Jamie has substandard produce from them. Why is it when you buy these pre-packed items there’s always a mouldy one in the bag. Is there a person employed by food producers to sneakily add in a bad one to the bag. Whenever I buy a punnet of strawberries, you can guarantee that there'll be a mouldy one lurking in the corner. Salad making aborted, I plump for a ham and beetroot sandwich.

I drive to the venue for the day and after moving the tables out of the space, I set up my video camera to catch people arriving. I’m making a video diary to edit down and have playing on Friday when parents arrive to see the show. – As if I don’t have enough to do. The first person to Arrive is Rhiannon, just as the iPod in the corner, (Yes, it even comes to work here with me too), shuffles and ‘Mustang Sally’ from the film The Commitments, blasts out.

The tw0 weeks slide by quickly and before we know it, it’s Friday 6th August and the parents are arriving. The show goes down well, and after everyone has left, feeling proud of the hard work the kids put into it I drive home. The iPod shuffles, as you’d expect. Opshop play ‘Maybe’, a song that reminds me so much of my tour of New Zealand in 2007. I stop off at the local Tesco and promptly get hit by a car. Thankfully it wasn’t going too fast and I get away with just a bruise and a stiff leg. The woman driving however gets away without stopping to apologise.

Disappointment Sunday

Sunday 25 July- For some reason I’m awake today at 06.30, I get up and have a cup of tea, turn on the iPod and Public Image Ltd begin to play ‘Disappointed’. Hoping this isn't an omen for how the day will pan out I press shuffle as at this hour it’s a little too early for John Lydon. PIL change places with ‘My Tornado’ by The Ravonettes.

I planned the menu for my next Al Fresco day, a party where we eat Italian food and generally quaff wine and ale. I decide to try out a few things, so I begin the day by making a Torte Verde. Basically a spinach pie, I use some of my home grown spinach from the allotment and all in all the pie’s a great success, and tasty too, I think for the day I’ll add some fennel seeds. I also tried my hand at some antipasti, cherry tomato hollowed out and stuffed with garlic and herb flavoured anchovy, they were nice. And I gave it go at Finghi Ripieni, which is stuffed mushrooms. These were very nice with a breadcrumb topping and a stuffing finished off with vermouth.

I record a podcast for next weeks Action Project workshops and post it up on the net. Then have a moan at ‘Three’ as my broadband has run out for the month, only to be told I could have three times the allowance for the same cost. Why didn’t they say that at the start, now I got to wait until August 14 before I can get access. Looks like it’s back to the Pay As You Go dongle until then.

Lunchtime arrives and we decide to go out for a carvery meal, just along the road. We arrive at the venue as Peter Andre shuffles on the player with ‘XOXO’ The service is swift, we wait for just long enough to buy 2 pints and our table is ready, we’re secretly glad as the barmaid is a bit odd, you know the kind – Late forties, dark fake tan, hair bleached within an inch if it’s life and bright pink lipsti  ck applied with the finesse of a trainee plasterer. I opt for a mix of pork and gammon, Help myself to vegetables and roast potatoes and take my seat. I unload the gadgets I am carrying with me today onto the table: Classic iPod and LG Mobile Phone. I look up from my first mouthful of pork and spot the elderly lady opposite taking her false teeth out, popping them into a paper napkin. Two things occur to me at this point. 1- Will she have to spend hours picking dried on bits of napkin off them again before she can use them again. 2- It must be odd living without them all day then having to pop them in just to eat. She notices me looking over, I allow my lips to curve slightly and in return she gives me a broad gummy smile.

On the table next to us are two ladies. one is telling the other about having to go to the hospital for a blood test, while the other is talking about her niece having a boyfriend. She says she hopes when her niece goes to university, that she’s sensible and she’ll be disappointed if she just  gives away her virginity to the first boy that shows an interest.. The other woman replies, that it used to be easier to get it the test done at the doctors. Lunch disappears quickly and not really fully satisfied we leave the public house. So I guess that’s disappointment number 1.

We decide to go to the local open air shops and attractions for a walk around. I decide to look for some Citronella candles, to take to Italy in August to keep the mosquito's at bay when we sit out in the evening. The one’s that I’m looking for are tea-light ones 50 in a pack for £4.45, all they have is packs of 30 for £5.99. Disappointment number 2.

We drive back, with Placebo playing ‘Special Needs’, from the Sleeping With Ghosts album. I got a bottle of beer yesterday from Sainsbury’s. Not one I tried before so I left it overnight in the fridge. Usually I drink Peroni if I choose to have bottled beer, this is a Czech one. The bubbles rush up from the base of the green bottle as the lid is prised off. It has that satisfying shush as it empties into the glass. Condensation beads the outside of the glass and I raise it to my lips. Disappointment number 3.

As I decide to upload this addition to my blog, Ricky Martin sings Private Emotion. I think to myself, I wonder how many women were disappointed when he recently came out and told everyone he was gay…….as if we didn’t know.

Superfast Scoffing, Mediocre Singing and the Tea Towel/Travolta Hunt

Monday 19th July 2010. Well today is officially the first day of my unemployment/retirement and it’s been rather dull to be honest. The trusty iPod was shuffling in the living room as I sorted through a mountain of paper, bills etc from the old house. I have a mountain of invoices and receipts to organise in my accounts for Black Cat, but just can’t muster up the energy to sit down and do them. Kelly Rowland, sings ‘Commander’, it’s rather good and a little bit Lady Gaga, I think.

Today we transferred the deposit for our house in Abruzzo over to our Italian bank account, hopefully the purchase wont take too long and we’ll be able to start work on it around September, I’ll update the progress of the refurbishment here. until then here’s a picture of how it is at the moment.

It has two front doors, as it used to be two houses. This is the upstairs part of the house, behind the brown door is the living room and shower room and behind the green door is the kitchen. The front has a large patio with a massive fig tree, yum yum, and an overgrown driveway. Down the steps at the side and you get to the two bedrooms and shower room on the lower level too. There’s over 1000 sq m of overgrown land behind the house which we plan to turn into an orto, like most Italians do and grown all our own fruit and veg.

We went out for dinner tonight, just to a local pub that does good food, opposite me at another table, sat the worlds fastest eater. The table had three women at it, two were mid forties, hard faced types; you know the kind, they have a twenty a day habit etched on their faces, no make up and a permanent scowl. The third was a pretty looking woman in her twenties. When their dinner arrived the two older women ate at a normal pace, continuing between mouthfuls to moan about work and generally deride as much about their lives as they could. The third woman’s dinner was delivered to the table; she had new potatoes and Cajun salmon with veg, no sooner was the plate in front of her, she started to dig in, shovelling in mouthful after mouthful. She barely chewed the food and I looked at my iPod, (which had been playing ‘Open The Box’ by Yoko Ono, as we pulled onto the pub car park). The time read 18.43, when she finished eating it read 18.49, so it took her just 6 minutes to scoff down a hot meal, methinks she had an asbestos tongue.

Tuesday 20th July. A damp day greets me and I’m again at a loose end, I haven’t had time to develop a routine yet. So at the moment I’m just surfing the net on my new laptop, that has so many fabulous features. I had to buy Microsoft office yesterday as my old one from 2000 won’t run on Windows 7, £89.99 for a piece of cardboard in a plastic box with a twenty five digit code, so I can use it. Kylie sings ‘Get Outta My Way’ from her new album, Aphrodite. It’s an okay album, not really very thrilling in my opinion, it’s not really got any tracks that stand out.

Wednesday 21st July.  It’s sunny at 7.30 when I drink my morning cuppa, in the kitchen iPod shuffles and Adam and the Ants play, ‘Feed Me To The Lions’. I check the weather over in Chieti, Italy and see that it’s 29C, which is 84F in old money. I drive to my old office and check to see if there’s any post, A Flock Of Seagulls play ‘What Am I Supposed To Do’ from their 1983 album, Listen. All I have waiting for me is junk mail, so after popping in to see Lara at Moonstruck Theatre Company, I drive to town. I pull onto the car park, buy a ticket, pop ear-buds into my ears and walk off with Bananarama singing ‘We’ve Got The Night’ from their amazing 2009 album release, ‘Viva’.

There’s a crowd gathered in the street and I can hear voices singing, I join the group and see two blokes, looking out of place dressed in dinner suits with microphones. Old ladies are gathered around a table selling CD’s of the duo, all is in aid of some charity of some sort. To be truthful, money would be better spent sending the crooners off for singing lessons, as they were doing, ‘You Lift Me Up’ a grave injustice. I’m just moving away from the group, when I overhear an elderly lady in a camel coloured coat turn to her friend and say, “They’re crap aren’t they Betty, not as good as that poofter Will Young,” I stroll off smirking as Betty agrees with her politically incorrect friend.

I head into town on my quest to buy new tea towels, for our brand new shiny kitchen, our old ones need replacing. First I head into the local market, here we have everything, stalls selling curtains and cakes, dog toys and Dettol. I scan every stall, and should I be in the market for a tee shirt with ‘Holly likes Cock’ emblazoned across the front, I’d be in luck, but no, there’s not a single tea towel to be had. I go into the Potteries Shopping Centre; our meagre attempt at a shopping mall, and have a quick mooch in HMV, this prompts me to make a mental note to download the Professor Green album, Alive Till I’m Dead, when I get home. I pass Starbucks, see the sign advertising their truly dreadful Lemon Frappuccino, which tasted like drinking cleaning fluid and plug in my ear-buds once more, and descend the escalator to non other than Will Young with, ‘Leave Right Now’ the only song of his I actually like.

The hunt for the elusive tea towels continues, Textile World has closed down, so no joy there. T.K Max have towels but no tea towels, I can’t be arsed to go to BHS so I stride off into the distance and back to the car. I end up at Tesco and there I purchase 10 red and white tea towels for the princely sum of £10. I also get a couple of bottles of Maschio prosecco, bargains at just £5.99 a bottle instead of the usual £11.99.

 

I check my e-mail and see my lawyer in Lanciano, Menina has sent me one saying the cadastral survey should be complete by end of August, which means we’ll get a plan of the land and the house in case anyone disputes land ownership in the future. Can’t see that though, as there’s only one street in Guarenna Vecchia, which is the name of the village where our humble abode is.

Thursday 22nd July. 7.00 am and was on my second cup of tea when the roof of the world ripped open and down came a torrent of water. It’s now 08.57 and it’s still raining with no let up. To cheer the day I put another Tesco bargain into my PC and settled in front of the screen. What was the bargain? The Killers, live from the Royal Albert Hall, DVD for the price of just 4 of the royal treasury’s pounds. So the rain falls outside and I watch Brandon Flowers jump up and down and get all sweaty….Nice

Next week is the Action Project, and this time we shall be doing a two week project looking at the musical/stage show Grease. I just realised that although I know the songs, and a rough synopsis of the story, I don’t know it well enough. So I take a trip up to town to rectify this. As I park in vacant space, No Doubt are blasting out with ‘Sunday Morning’. I lock up my car just as the man in the car adjacent to mine reverses into another one, he gets out, and takes a look. He  shrugs his shoulders, climbs back into his car and drives away, leaving a dent and a flash of white paint on the other car. I walk towards HMV to look for the Grease DVD, on the way into the shopping centre, I stop to buy a copy of The Big Issue. The seller notices my Italian flag badge on my jacket lapel, and before you know it, we’re having a conversation in Italian outside on the damp streets of Stoke on Trent.

Now you’d expect to pick up a copy of Grease quite easily, but no, another hunt begins to take place. I first look in the section marked G in feature films, no joy. I check out musicals, section G, again no luck. I leave HMV and try a couple of other stores that sell DVD’s, still no luck. So I return back to HMV, thinking I’ll see if they have a copy in the back of the store. I’m entering the shopping centre as the Big Issue seller shouts, “Ciao.” I ask the youth behind the HMV counter if they have a copy of the film, he looks on his screen, sucks his teeth then says “You can order a copy online for £3.99, with free delivery.” I explain that I need it ASAP. He sucks his teeth again, then says, “Yes we have one, it’s in a boxed set of five John Travolta films, "£12,” I confirm that that will be okay, and five minutes later I leave the store clutching the object of my perseverance. This time I sneak out the back way avoiding the Anglo-Italian Big Issue vendor, and as The Klaxons play ‘Isle of Her’ I drive home, just in time as the rain comes again.

The rain moves away in the afternoon and sunshine replaces it, we travel into town to look at sofa’s, as we need new ones, our old one is falling to bits. We have to consider very carefully our options, as we have to buy something that will fit in with our future move to Italy. Things to consider are:

Fabric V’s Leather – Leather we think is a better option particularly when the summer comes, fabric can be too much on hot days.

Legs – These need to be higher than usual feet on sofa’s to allow air to circulate, and to prevent a dark space for scorpions and shield bugs to hide in.

Size – our living room is quite small as most Italian’s are, the reason being in winter most people spend the vast majority of their time in the kitchen by a big log fire. (we’re lucky to have a huge fireplace) And in summer most of the time is spent al fresco.

Now I do need to point out that we’ve seen endless furniture ranges over the past weeks and cannot decide on anything we like. For me they’re either too fussy, with squashy extra cushioned bits, that will lose their shape after six months, or they are recliners, which I don’t want.

We are just minutes inside a small independent furniture shop when we find it. A three and a two seater in scarlet leather, with tall silver feet, and a bargain at just £799.95 for the two, and here’s the good bit, delivery in 24 hours.  On the way home Depeche Mode, shuffle onto the car stereo, with ‘Ghost’, a bonus track off their 2009 album, Sounds of the Universe. It has one of my favourite lyrics……. ‘I’m the hole in your heart, I’m the stain in your bed,  the phantom in your fingers, the voices in your head.

 All in all today hasn’t turned out badly, just have to teach drama for an hour at 5pm then the evening is mine.

Football Failures and Fit Fitters

Okay so I’ve not been here for a while, well a couple of weeks to be honest. The reason for my tardiness is, (1) I have been touring schools, and (2) I have moved house. But before I go into that here’s part of the last blog written, it’s been languishing on my other laptop.

Monday 28.6.10 - So England is out of the world cup. Now I don’t know very much about football, and what I do know can be written on the edge of a pound coin. My knowledge of the beautiful game is this: A match lasts 90 minutes and I think Frank Lampard is fit. But despite my lack of football wisdom even I knew watching the match that England were playing badly, at times they didn’t seem to care. The nations disappointment was evident as we drove to our performance venue on Monday morning, as the car flags had disappeared from the country’s cars overnight. No St George’s cross fly from the Mazda’s, Mitsubishi’s and Mercedes’ on the A52 into Nottingham. As Martin Gore sings ‘Motherless Child’, we arrive at our school for the day.

We have a fun session first with year 10 where many personal questions are asked of us, doing the sex education show has been great fun, the audience have loved being able to discuss sex openly with us and I’ve taken every opportunity available to embarrass the little darlings. Year 9 is more subdued than their older peers, maybe because we do the drugs and alcohol workshop with them, and there’s no references to luminous condoms which you can play ‘Star Wars’ with: slide it on and turn out the lights and you have your very own mini light sabre. After the lunch, provided by the school we start our afternoon session. Year 8 is lively, and many know far more about sex than the average 13 year old. The session ends with us being made aware that there are two kids in our audience that are already having a sexual relationship with each other.

Tuesday 29.6.10 – A quiet day, George goes back home to Bristol, I drop him off at the coach station as Alessandra Amoroso sings ‘Bellissimo’. The rest of the day is spent reading and occasionally browsing the web. It’s nice to have a day to just chill out and do nothing.

Wednesday 30.6.10 – I drive to the bungalow to wait for the carpet fitters, Prince is on the iPod singing ‘Gett Off’. I take a call from TES (Times Educational Supplement) they tell me they are running the story about the school we visited last Friday that didn’t want us to address gay issues in the Sex Matters road show. The carpet fitters arrive, three of them, one old guy who looks like he’s ready to expire, a middle aged one with an assortment of missing teeth, and a younger lad who looks like he keeps the local kebab shop in business. Leona Lewis sings ‘Forgive Me’ as I sigh, resigned to a day with no eye candy. The carpets are being fitted when visitor number 1 knocks at the door, Earth, Wind and Fire as belting out ‘Saturday Night’ when the next door neighbour calls to tell me she’s had months, nay years of hearing the gates to the bungalow clang, she says it sounds really loud in her lounge and drives her husband mad. I smile and tell her I’ll make a note of it. The carpet fitters are motoring on, within what seems minutes the lounge has a carpet and they move onto the bedrooms. Kasabian play ‘Processed Beats’ when visitor number 2 calls, it’s a man come to sign off the gas appliances, thought he’d drop by on the off chance someone would be here. He has an assistant, a fit young thing who every time he bends flashes his grey pants purchased from Next. The day just got better, or so I think, because my iPod shuffles and randomly plays Busted ‘Crashed the Wedding’ and he gives me an odd look. Lunchtime arrives and every room now has carpet and the gas appliances can be used safely and as Daughtry sings ‘September’ from his second album, Leave This Town, I drive home to pack for my journey to Bristol.

The journey to Bristol is dreadful, we set off at 2.00 pm and arrive at 8.30 pm. We spend 2 hours in stationary traffic following an accident on M42, we’re shunted off at junction 4 and traffic snakes slowly along minor roads. Knackered we arrive at our hovel, sorry hotel.

Not Much To Say

Sadly there's not really much to say this week, have been working in schools and trying to avoid the world cup. But as the football is dominating everything and because Italy has been kicked out, here's Tiziano Ferro and his football video....

Posing Puppies and the Painted Elephants of London

Sunday 13.06.10-. After a three hour drive we arrive at our accommodation in Chingford, I’ve stayed here before, and remember although the apartments are nice, the traffic noise from the road (A112) in the early hours is at times deafening. The weather is good and the early evening is quite warm, a stark contrast to the thunder back home. I plug in my iPod and unpack as Altered Images fill the room with the strains of their first single,’ Dead Pop Stars’. I recall this single being quite controversial as it was released, unintentionally at the time of John Lennon’s death. I cook a risotto for the three of us and we chat until just after 11 p.m. before retiring to our rooms.

Monday 14.06.10 - I rise at 5.40 a.m. have some breakfast as Tigerpicks, single ‘Disco Punk Electro Funk’ plays at a low volume, as the others are still sleeping. I was woken at 4.00 a.m. by the traffic hurtling past the wall on which my bed is positioned. Today we are only doing the anti-bullying show and the school we’re at is in Ipswich. The first session goes well, the students are quite nice but not as engaging as others I’ve had the pleasure of spending time with. The school offers us lunch; much to the chagrin of the dinner lady serving, who scowls as she doles out pasta bake onto plates for us. The second session is pretty much the same as the first, the students give good answers but I feel are too lethargic to commit themselves totally to the performance. Back at the accommodation we mooch about doing our own thing until it’s time to turn in. Today really has been rather a non-event, the highlight being cooking spaghetti for my dinner..

Tuesday 15.06.10 – We have a hellish journey to today’s school. We program the SatNav to direct us in without going on the M25 to save delays, however it takes us through Lewisham and Stratford, where we run into the congestion due to the building of the 2012 Olympic stadium. It’s our first day of the ‘Sex Matters’ show and we have our first audience filing into the hall as we chat to our contact; a beefy PE teacher in shorts, with legs so hairy you’d be excused for thinking he was wearing tights. The show goes really well and we’re all happy with it, there was quite a lot of fun injected into it and the student’s energy levels were good. Session two goes equally well, we have a joker by the name of Jordan on the front row, but he meets his match with me. We are provided lunch again; I struggle to find something that will fit in with my healthy eating regime. I opt for a small baked potato with beans, and have to stop Sue, the dinner lady piling on grated cheese. Our final session goes well and I leave the school on a high, after the teacher in charge tells me he thinks I’d make an excellent teacher as I have the ability to communicate so well with young people. Back home we feed the cat, who we've named Ming-Mong' fish sticks and he likes them.

On the way home George sleeps and Steph and me make up a silly story about horses that disguise themselves as cows. (This will be written and may be added here at a later date). Back at the apartment Steph and George sit outside chatting as I prepare dinner. Alison Moyet is singing ‘And When I Say (No Giveaway)’ as I cook George some scrambled eggs on toast and do some tortellini for Steph and myself. We have a few glasses of wine and chat until it’s time once more to go to bed.

Wednesday 16.06.10 – We have today off as we need to rehearse two new modules for the ‘Sex Matters’ show. We start off paying a visit to the local Tesco for a few items; I want to make a ragu for Thursday’s dinner. We rehearse the modules later in the day; George is a little bit huffy and a little confrontational throughout the day. We decide to travel into London for tomorrow’s shows by train as the school is by St. James’s Park, I ask George if he can remember how long the train journey from London to Chingford took. The question seems to cause him some concern, as he cannot recollect how long it took, and he goes into a sulk.

Today really isn’t going well, I go to the bedroom and send some emails as my iPod shuffles, first local Stoke on Trent band The Fears play ‘Reality’ followed by Marvin Gaye with ‘Mercy Mercy Me (The Ecology)’. Later as we watch the early evening news and George drinks wine he becomes quite provocative, making statements about the current economic crisis and also the war in Afghanistan. Some of these upset Steph and she leaves the room so he starts on me and I tell him I’m not prepared to discuss it as it’s only 7 p.m. and he’s obviously drunk. George disappears only to return later with an apology and a 2 litre bottle of cider. We play a game where we all play random tracks for each other in turn from our iPod’s. Steph plays, Hot Chip and Imogen Heap, George plays Judas Priest and Genesis and I play The Associates and Gianna Nannini. Rather than go into detail George becomes more provocative and before we know it he’s ranting once more, this time making statements that we find offensive. Steph leaves the room and George and myself continue to argue, I try not to react too badly to his bile but he makes an odious remark about Rachel and my blood boils and I shout at him, he grabs a knife and I have to calm him down as he makes slashing motions to his arm. He calms and asks if there’s any more alcohol in the apartment before going to bed.

Thursday 17.06.10 – There’s a frosty air around the apartment today as we rise and prepare to leave. George packs everything he has in his case to take with him. Steph and myself wonder if he’s going to walk out, and to be frank we couldn’t care less after last night. The journey takes an hour and very soon we’re ready to face our first all girl audience. The girl’s are great, lots of questions are asked and a great deal of laughter fills the room. We have a short intermission before the whole thing is repeated with another equally robust group of girls.

The afternoon is now ours, George heads off to an audition and Steph and myself drop into a pub for lunch before our wander around London. The sun is high and to protect my head I buy a purple trilby. All over Central London are painted elephants, which will be later auctioned off at Sotheby’s as part of a charitable campaign called ‘The Elephant Parade’. We photograph a handful and browse inside shops. We worship to the god of inexpensive clothes at the H&M temple and I purchase a pair of slim fit lilac jeans. We have a walk along Carnaby Street, and gasp in wonderment at the shoes packed into the ‘Irregular Choice’ shoe shop. We’re sitting having a drink outside a well known sandwich and coffee provider when a man with a spaniel puppy the colour of golden syrup passes by. I comment on how beautiful the pup is and it immediately stops as the crowd disperse and it tilts its head to the side as if saying, ‘Aren’t I a cute’, it then takes a step to the side and poses again for us before doing a catwalk turn and exiting into the crowd.

Back at the accommodation we all meet up and I reheat the ragu and we all have some, it’s hot as there are quite a few chillies inside it and the double cooking intensifies the flavour. We all set about packing ready to leave after tomorrow’s shows. I do some internet surfing, getting my daily Italy fix by checking into the Abruzzo forum I’m a member of. I send a few e-mails and the iPod shuffles away in the corner ‘Frozen’ by Madonna being one of the random tunes. I pack my case as the throbbing opening to ‘Shayla’ from the Eat To The Beat album by Blondie fills the room.

Friday 18.06.10 - The journey today is hellish, we’re 36 minutes away from St. Margaret’s Independent Girls’ School. We spend an hour moving less than half a mile on the North Circular and discover there’s been an accident and it’s closed. We make a detour and rather than join the slowly snaking trail of vehicles, we take a risk and try to find a road running parallel to the closed thoroughfare. Our gamble pays off and we arrive to a frosty reception. The space we use is very small and the girls are sat in the adjoining room, which makes it a slightly disjointed performance, as we feel unconnected to our audience. Our first show is about how drugs, sex and alcohol can be a dangerous combination. Our next performance is ‘Bully 4 You’ for year 6 and 7 girls, all of whom seem to think it would be wrong to upset a potential bully by reporting them to the school. We are almost finished, literally just seconds to go when the English teacher, Miss Livermore stands up and tells us to stop now, as it’s nearly lunchtime. We can’t believe someone could be so rude, how would she like it if we interrupted her lessons, telling her to stop now?

We leave the school, which we all feel is very unfriendly and visit an Italian deli owned and run by Turk’s. I purchase a delicious Parma ham, mozzarella and black olive filled ciabatta. We arrive back at the school for the concluding parts of the ‘Sex Matters’ show when we are asked to make no references to gay sex or relationships. This flabbergasts us all, how can a school discriminate against these issues so openly. The performances are going well and one of the girls in the audience asks a question about H.I.V. and the gay community. We answer the question and then I say, loudly – “We go to some schools where they ask us not to talk about gay issues, I think it’s morally reprehensible for a school to ask us to do this as it’s not only discrimination but puts their students at potential risk.” A teacher at the back of the room knows exactly who I’m talking about and glares at me and I smile in a smug self satisfied manner.

We leave the school and all three of us agree that with the exception of our contact the rest of the staff we came into direct contact with were ignorant and rude. George leaves to stay with friends for the weekend and Steph and myself head up the M1 north leaving the south behind as the iPod shuffles us home. I arrive home and kill the engine at 8.35 pm as ‘Influenza (Relapse)’ by Gene Loves Jezebel finishes playing. First thing I do when I get home is open the fridge, take out a chilled bottle of prosecco and down a glass of the cold, fizzy beverage with delight.

The iPod is on shuffle as I write up this weeks blog, however it’s only shuffling songs from Aussie indie band ‘Operator Please’. I’ve downloaded the new album, ‘Gloves’ and some bonus tracks from the first album ‘Yes Yes Vindictive’. ‘Icicle’ a bonus track from the Japanese release of YYV is playing at the moment. Today has been an odd week, we’ve had rehearsals for our final tour and I’ve been clearing out the office. Monday came and we had no female actor, a few phone calls later we had the lovely Stephanie.

Tuesday I drive to work and see a man sat in a Ford Mondeo. (What’s odd about this you ask?) Well he was dressed as Superman. He was an overweight man and I’d guess in his mid forties, he certainly looked out of place on the A500. Tuesday afternoon rehearsals start and go well, albeit a tad disjointed, as today we are another actor down, as George has an audition in the city of golden pavements.

The week continues on with the office becoming gradually much larger as desks are removed, boxes of costume are packed up and soon Saturday looms and the rooms are devoid of anything from Black Cat Theatre Co, if it wasn’t for the pink walls, you’d never have guessed we’d been there. It’s going to be odd not having Rachel singing in the corner, or throwing balls of silver foil at me. But we’ll see, everything happens for a reason and there may be a new exciting something around the next corner.

I take a trip into town and see the local shopping centre has two look-a-like footballers, posing for photos with passers-by. One is supposed to be David Beckham. Okay he’s passable as Beck’s, but he looks a bit too old and has an out of date hair style, which suggests without the pointy quiff he looks less like the man he’s emulating. Next to him is a rather plump Frank Lampard, who in my opinion is less convincing than his fellow imitator. Something looks odd as I watch them preen and pose for camera phones. That’s it; I almost cry out, they’re both too short. Mr Beckham and Mr Lampard are both six feet tall, however the look-a-like David is around five foot eight, while the look-a-like Frank is around five foot five.

Ever felt like you’ve been short-changed?

Macbeth and the Personalised Number Plates

Half term is upon us and so it’s the Action Project once more. The Action Project is this time looking at ‘The Scottish Play’. The kids are all excited about spending the week with Rachel and myself, and the inevitable fun they’ll have, playing games, acting and singing. I have edited the script down to about 60 minutes and have translated it into modern English. I have however left all of Macbeth’s soliloquies in Shakespeare’s language and Lady Macbeth’s first and final scenes will use the original text. Monday morning, as I wait at a red light the iPod plays, ‘Logic’ by Operator Please from the new album, ‘Gloves’. I notice as I’m waiting for the lights to change that I’m sandwiched between two cars with personalised registration plates, the car in front is NAN 31, (I wonder if it was a gift for granny on a birthday) and the car behind is 5ETH. (I look in the rear view mirror and think to myself that the driver looks more like a John than a Seth). The lights change as the music does, this time ‘Cash in my Pocket’ by Wiley feat Daniel Merriweather begins to play and I drive to the rehearsal venue. The day goes well and the parts have all been given out, Lowri, a confident ten year old will be Lady Macbeth. The lead will go to Bradley, a handsome thirteen year old that all the girls have a crush on. We have an amazing group of children; they all get along really well and support each other throughout the rehearsals. Rhiannon is playing the Porter and is hilarious, she’s really got the part spot on, and she also plays King Duncan and Young Macduff. The first day over and I drive home with the iPod playing ‘White Boys Can’t Control It’ from the debut album by Culture Club, ‘Kissing To Be Clever’. It may have been released back in 1982 but it still sounds fresh twenty eight years later. I’m driving past the well know supermarket beginning with the letter ‘T’ when I spot another personalised plate, this time in front of me and the plate reads 1 NAG. Tuesday morning is spent running the third of the play we worked on the day before and after lunch we look at the next third. We have our first rehearsal of the song we’ll be doing at the end of the performance. This time I’ve chosen the theme tune from the film Ghostbusters. The first run through becomes a mix of the Ray parker Jnr version and the 118 118 commercial. I’m flabbergasted by some of the kids who are already word perfect; Rhiannon did two runs of the Porter, went home and came back word perfect. James has so much energy it’s exhausting watching him run about between his scenes with Daniel. I spot another plate on my way home, this one I could have myself that is if I was the sort of person who wanted one, which I’m not. BAZ 6842. Wednesday driving in I see yet another plate, this one is just four digits long, 6032. I guess it must have cost a fortune. ‘Domani’ by Artisti Uniti per l’Abruzzo plays. A song recorded by various Italian singers to raise money for the people of L’Aquila after the 6th April 2009 earthquake that took 308 lives. The quake, which was 5.8 on the Richter scale damaged the beautiful city of L’Aquila and many surrounding villages too, I felt personal loss too, as in Fosssa the house I was buying was destroyed. Today we get to the end of the play, all scenes are blocked and Bradley is eager now to get some direction for his soliloquies, he’s an excellent student, he asks relevant questions and understands why his character says what he says. I have asked him to portray Macbeth honestly, I want the audience to initially see him question his loyalty to Duncan before he makes his decision to kill the King, and Brad does this so well. Lowri had her first run through of Lady Macbeth’s sleep walking scene, which I’ve edited into a monologue so we can see her gradually go mad before our eyes. The day ends with some games; Nish Nash (not her real name) a five year old wants us to pretend to be animals, we get into pairs and have twenty minutes acting like all manner of creatures for the others to guess what we are. I’m with Georgia and together we become penguins, meerkat’s and a tarantula. I drive home with Kate Bush singing ‘The Wedding List’ and windows down I duet loudly along the A50. Thursday is a day of relentless re-runs of scenes and song practicing, the day is sunny and the room is soon oppressive, the doors have to opened and the sound of Daniel as Macduff shouting, “Sound your trumpets, the heralds of blood and death,” rushes out onto the back alleys of Fenton. In the afternoon, Lowri rehearses the sleepwalking scene and as she’s doing it the background activity in the room begins to slow down until every one is silent and watching Lowri wrestle with her thoughts and the imaginary blood on her hands. She finishes and the room erupts with spontaneous applause, and the ten year old blushes, the blood now visible in her face. The children all want to end the day playing the animal game again, and now the laughter and joyous pleasure of children exits the door out onto the warm afternoon air. Friday, and I’m driving to the trophy shop to collect the trophy for the outstanding student of the week, I spot another plate, this one is 5AM 33, I wonder if the Sam it refers to is male or female and is she/he thirty three? ‘Touched by the Hand of God’ by New Order is playing as I pull onto the cash and carry car park to purchase some items for the show and I park next to a car sporting the plate BL355, (Oh BLESS). The day passes by so quickly, Lunchtime comes and goes in a heartbeat and it’s dress rehearsal time. Changes are made as we rehearse for the first time in the performance space, and before you know it it’s that time – what time? You ask – SHOWTIME. Parents Arrive, kids ask; more times than I can comprehend, “Is my mum and dad here yet?” I spend my time walking backwards and forwards from child to parent and back again to say, “Yes, your family are here.” Brodie (Banquo) and James (Malcolm) are on meet and greet duty, telling parents to behave themselves and to enjoy the show. The play begins and Olivia, Sally and Katya take to the stage and as Katya utters those immortal lines, “When shall we three meet again?” Panic breaks out backstage as they all realise there’s no turning back now. I reassure them I’ll make sure they don’t go on late, but the atmosphere is full of hushed whispers of, “Baz, what scene’s next?” “When am I next on Barry?” and “What’s my first line, Baz?” There are a few stumbles over lines, but what can you expect they’ve put all this together in just five days. The boy’s look splendid in their kilts; the girls playing the witches look great; having decided that the witches in our version are sexy and glam. I remark that if I were their father I’d keep them locked up until they were twenty five. Lowri is a vision in her turquoise and black dress, she has really brought Lady Mac to life and at times makes a better job of it than some of the professional actors I’ve worked with. Rhiannon has the audience laughing at her irreverent Porter and Bradley motors through his scenes superbly. I stand at the back filling up with pride. Before you know it 60 minutes have passed and Siouxsie and the Banshee’s play ‘Spellbound’ and the walk down has begun to tumultuous applause. 21.15 and with a glass of red I reflect upon something a parent said to me as they left after the show. “What a great bunch of children you have Barry, they all have great respect and support for each other.” I smile and think to myself, at this moment in time - I’m the luckiest man in the world.