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Friday, 29 May 2009

Exploding Cars and Has Britain Got Talent?

iPod holder for just £2
Another bank holiday weekend is upon us so we decide to use the day effectively and rise early and take a drive out to the garden centre to purchase bedding plants and some veggies to grow. I got a fantastic bargain at HMV recently, an in car iPod holder for just £2, so we test drive that as we head off, with the Libertine’s playing ‘Can’t Stand Me Now’. Now I know I’m always banging on about Italy, and how beautiful it is in Abruzzo, well don’t think I don’t appreciate what we have here in the UK. Just a few minutes drive from my house and I’m in the beautiful Staffordshire countryside, and as we pootle along we take in the landscape that rolls out before us. The weather is good and as we’ve set out early we miss the bank holiday rush. With an assortment of bedding plants we leave the garden centre as queues begin to form in the country lanes, hot cars full of frustrated people warmed by the sun. Back home I plant up my courgette, peas and tomato plants as Gary Numan plays ‘She’s Got Claws’, the pod now shuffling in it’s speaker deck.
After a day in the garden, I decide it’s time to water in the new arrivals, however we’re left wondering where the spray gun off the end of the hosepipe has gone, it looks like it’s been taken off and stolen away, but who’d creep into someone’s back garden just to steal a spray gun attachment? We look around to find the rose off the watering can has also vanished. We are pondering this dilemma when the couple who live at the back of us start to have an argument, which in turns develops into an all out fist fight, which their children have to break up.
Well the travellers have left, gone as quickly as they arrived, the only clue to their having been here is an abandoned and very dented car, which at lunchtime bursts into flames choking out black smoke, someone at the offices assumes the car is being burnt out after possibly being used for nefarious activities, I couldn’t care less I just see it as a photo opportunity.
After cooking a chicken curry as James Morrison plays in the background I sit down to watch Britain’s Got Talent, it’s the third semi final and I can only assume they put all of the rubbish acts into this episode, what are these people thinking, a man who is convinced he sounds like a saxophone and a woman warbling as a man arranges flowers, and there’s something rather disturbing about watching a 12 year old overweight boy of Greek parentage, flashing his prematurely hairy armpits before the watershed…. It’s just wrong, nearly made me want to turn over to watch Springwatch. And finally, am I the only person in the UK that thinks Susan Boyle is overrated? Yes she can carry a tune but she’s not that good.
Wednesday, I got up to discover that the snails have had it away with one of the leaves off Colin, my courgette plant, the buggers. It’s raining as I drive to work listening to ‘Loveboat’, from Kylie’s come-back album ‘Light Speed’, the uptempo tune does little to brighten the day. As it’s half term the roads are quiet, but that doesn’t stop a dick-head in a black Range Rover, with blacked out windows from hogging the outside lane and travelling at just 20 MPH, oh well at least there’s a lunch date to look forward to today.

Diana Ross sings ‘Top Of The World’ as we stumble back into the office from the Chinese ‘eat your body weight in food’ buffet up town, it was nice to catch up with friends and eat good food too, there’s something comfortable about long lunches as opposed to evening dinner, which can be too formal.

We have an Italian market in town and on Thursday we left the office to have a nose ‘rind; as we say in these parts; the stall holders are all from Sicily and are bringing a little Dolce Vita to up ‘anley duck. As suspected it’s cheeses, olive oils, bread and salami, I buy a large tub of olives stuffed with garlic which no doubt wont last the day out. I watch another instalment of Britain’s Got Talent, and have to say with the exception of a talented saxophonist named Julian Smith; Britain certainly didn’t have talent tonight. There’s something a little creepy about watching a 12 year old girl singing ‘Somewhere Out There’ from An American Tale with a 76 year old man, even if he is her granddad, there dreadful woman who just blundered about the stage with enormous flashing breasts was gratuitous and to be honest embarrassing as was the 73 year old grandfather attempting to break-dance to Basshunter. And what’s with people bringing on dancing dogs, the dog tonight didn’t so much dance as just wander in and out of its owners legs as six men tap danced on the stairs; for goodness sake give it the ball it’s so desperate to play with and let it make up it’s own fun.

Friday is a good day and I drive to work with the windows down and Linkin Park playing ‘Lying From You’, it’s nice to have some sunshine, and predictions for this year are for a good summer. I do hope so, last year was disappointing and the year before that I missed summer as I spent it in New Zealand, when they had the worst weather they’d had in years. I wander around taking some photos of the local area where redevelopment is about to take place, it’s run down but the council have promised the regeneration will look good. We have another incident with one of our actors, this time he wants us to cancel 2 shows so he can go for an audition, I’m glad we’re opening a new business to eventually stop producing theatre; the attitudes of new actors nowadays is so poor, whatever happened to ‘the show must go on’ attitude? I was speaking to a director a few days ago and she says it’s a changed business, and wonders what drama schools teach them now about commitment and professionalism? I sit seething as Operator Please play ‘Yes, Yes’ and decide to upload this weeks blog.

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