How a Simple Vowel Could Get You into Trouble

Wednesday 7 September 2011 – Today has had an ‘Eighties’ edge to it, I think my iPod is having retro-day, it started with Spandau Ballet and ‘Lifeline’ as I drank my morning cuppa, then came King, with ‘Love and Pride’ and as I gave Benito his breakfast we had ‘Oblivious’ by Aztec Camera.

It takes four loads to get all the used laundry downstairs washed, the thankful thing is that it literally takes minutes out on the line to dry in this heat. I spend the afternoon sweeping floors and cleaning the bathroom with music shuffling in the background.

In the evening I meet Chris at the Borgo, and we have a couple of beers, we don’t plan on making a night of it, just have a little break in the coolness of the evening. Now just as we are about to leave, Maria shows up, grabs a seat and sits with us. We chat for a while, and I tell her my bed is calling me. Now I have been known to crack the odd joke in my time, but I’m confused by what has Maria in stitches, maybe it’s the crossover into Italian that makes it funny? Perplexed, I rise and say good bye, Maria hugs me and gives me a rather enthusiastic kiss on the cheek, well actually several kisses in rapid succession.

I drive home, check my e-mails, pour myself a glass of wine and turn on the iPod, ‘Ice Machine’ by Depeche Mode plays, when it hits me. – Wallop! A great big ball of realisation hurtles towards me, Of course because I said chiamata when I spoke to Maria, what I actually told her was, “ My bed is calling you.”-------Oops.