Broken Trees, Dirty Cars and 4 for £1.80

Monday 7 February – Today I took the dogs to the vets to get their rabies vaccinations, in readiness for them having a passport. My how times have changed, when I was a kid the thought of taking your dog abroad was unthinkable. While I was there a lady came in with an elderly springer spaniel. The owner was crying, it was obvious she was heartbroken. I assumed she had taken the dog for euthanasia. I remembered when my old English sheepdog was too ill and the vet advised on euthanasia. I really felt for the lady. It’s like losing a member of the family.

Tuesday 8 February – I drive to town as Army Of Freshmen play ‘Through The Screen’. I remember when I first saw this American band in 2007, they were the support band, and much better than the headline band. Suddenly the memory is tainted, as I recall who I was with at the time, someone who eventually let me down. The tale of this let down will be published later this year as an eBook. I’ll keep you informed.

One thing that really annoys me is senseless vandalism. Where the new and

ghastly gigantic Tesco store has been built; it’s allegedly the biggest in Europe. The contractors have planted trees, and some mindless vandal has snapped one in half. More than likely some drunken yob, walking home from an evening on the lash.

I walk past the giant superstore, and notice it has some strange pieces of metal fixed along a wall. Obviously some artist was paid a fortune for these random pieces of artwork. Sadly there’s no name, or indication what it’s supposed to represent.

I nip into the store as I need some bread, it’s row upon row of aisles stretching out as far as the eye can see. Just one visit to this store is a good indication of what’s killing off the high street. I decide I can’t be bothered trekking to the back of the store just for bread, so leave it, and walk back to the car, as Opshop play ‘Waiting Now.’ A song that

triggers memories of my stint in New Zealand, and being with the person who let me down.

I think a cup of tea is required(Whinge over).

Wednesday 9 February – I’m out and about, walking along with music playing as usual. Neneh Cherry is singing ‘My Bitch’ from her 1989 Raw Like Sushi album. I pass a new car wash that has just opened: I’ve had a flyer for the business placed under my windscreen wipers every day this week. (Must find somewhere else to park). A young man from the car wash was leaving his place of employment, and in his side windows he had signs advertising the car wash business. I was surprised to see that his car was filthy. Now wouldn’t you have thought it would make good business sense, to drive around advertising car cleaning in a clean car.

Today an advert came on the television that just cracked me up, dogs wearing dentures. I just couldn’t stop laughing when I saw it. The smiling pug gets me every time. So I’ve included a link to it here:

Doggie Dentures

Thursday 10 February – Today as Alessandra Amorosso sang ‘Romantica Ossessione’ my iPhone pinged telling me I’d got an e mail. Checking I see it’s from our Italian lawyers in Lanciano, telling me the water has now been connected at our little house out there. At last things are falling into place.

Spent a few minutes this morning syncing some new songs on the iPod. Whilst doing this, I noticed that if I wanted to play every song, one after another it would take 51 days and 9 hours to do so. That’s a lot of music.

Friday 11 February – I had a very odd run in today with a portly shop assistant with bleached hair. I popped to the local shop to buy some dog food: Now I don’t use this shop very often, as it’s ranges are limited and it's prices are high. I picked up 2 cans of dog food and went to the till with them. The assistant scanned them and said to me, “You can get 4 for £1.80.” I replied telling her I’d just take the two cans please. She then responded by saying, “But you can get 4 for £1.80, that’ll save you money.” I again reply saying I’ll just take the two cans please, I then add that my dogs don’t usually have this brand so may not like it. Her response is, “I’m sure they’ll like it, and at 4 for £1.80, they’re good value.” I smile and pay her, saying nothing this time. I am leaving the shop when she calls after me, “If they like it, don’t forget at the moment you can get…….” “Yes,” I reply, “4 for £1.80.”

Mistaken Identity

Thursday 3 February - I was walking through town earlier today, Altered Images were playing the 12” version of ‘Love To Stay,’ when I noticed a sign on a new restaurant, which read, Authentic Spanish Tapas. Nothing unusual with that, it was a Spanish restaurant. So how come the sign next to it read, Pizza and Pasta? Now correct me if I’m wrong but surely the latter is Italian? I pass a Turkish food outlet further on, and they have a sign in their window, which states they sell, Southern Fried Chicken. Where’s it from south Bodrum? A few paces up the road and I come across an Indian restaurant and take away, here they sell the usual curries, but also Doner Kebabs, aren’t they Turkish? Finally I pass a Thai restaurant, and guess what they are advertising for sale? Sushi. I think we must have a severe case of food related mistaken identity in Stoke on Trent.

Friday 4 February – Now I know you shouldn’t laugh at other peoples misfortune, but sometimes it’s difficult not to. I’m walking around Longton; a small and mostly unappealing town. My iPod shuffles and Siouxsie and the Banshees begin to play ‘Red Over White,’ as I spot a scruffy youth coming towards me. He’s dressed in trackie bottoms, with the obligatory hoody, he is holding a tray of steaming chips with beans over the top in his right hand. His left hand is holding a mobile phone to the side of his head, and he’s speaking loudly as he strides up the street.Obviously he’s distracted by his conversation, and he doesn’t notice the bollard indicating the pedestrainised area. The bollard is at crotch height, and he walks straight into it. The mixture of shock and pain is evident on his face, as the tray of chips and beans falls from his hand, hitting the tarmac, and splashing his trackies and trainers. The music shuffles, and Luciano Pavarotti, laughs as he begins to sing, ‘Vesti La Guibba’ and I laugh as quietly as is possible and walk away.

Sunday 6 February – I woke up at 5.15 and no matter how much I persevered, couldn’t lie in. So as we’ve got our friends Rozz and Spike coming over for a late lunch, along with the ex-wife and her brood I get up and start prepping veg. As usual the iPod is in its dock, and halfway through peeling the parsnips, Gina G bursts through the speakers, with ‘Ooh Ah…Just A Little Bit.’ The parsnips and peeler are discarded and my kitchen at 06.14 has a 49 year old man dancing around like a teenager.

In keeping with the food identity crisis, we have an Anglo Italian lunch. We start with Antipasti, followed by Porchetta and a slow cooked beef in red wine, by Antonio Carluccio. (his recipe, he wasn’t here in person to cook it). This Italian fare is coupled with good old English roast potatoes and Yorkshire puddings. For dessert we have Pannetone bread and butter pudding. And very nice it all was too.

Squirrels and the Wrong Shopping

This weeks blog entry is late, I say late, not because I forgot to post it, but because I couldn’t be bothered. This week, I have had so much shit going on in my life, I had nothing positive to say.

Keane play ‘Everybody’s Changing’ and I look out of the window. There are two squirrels romping on the lawn. Not knowing much about squirrel behaviour, I am unsure if they are fighting or mating. Today is the third day in row that they have been on my lawn. They are quite cheeky and have no fear of me, however as soon as I whip out my camera, they disappear. My neighbour has a rather portly red cat, it sits and watches the squirrels, but makes no attempt to attack them. I wonder if he’s had a run in with one before, and lost.

I becoming a little concerned about my dog. My little lad is 13 years old, he was born on Christmas eve 2007. Lately he’s become a little bit arthritic and has become very clingy. He’s a lovely dog, but just lately he seems to have lost his spark. I know 13 is quite a good lifespan for a dog, but I don’t think I’m ready for him to go just yet. He needs to have a lazy time in the Italian sunshine first. I think a trip to the vets is in order.

Yesterday I went to our local Tesco, just to get a couple of items. I only had a few items in my basket, so went to the self serve point, where you scan and pack your own things. Everything was going well until it came time to pay. I hag forgotten to bring any money with me, as I’d left home without picking up my jacket. The kind assistant said he’d put my shopping in customer services and I could pick it up later. I drove home and told my other half, and he said he’d go to fetch it for me. Ten minutes later he arrives home with four carrier bags. I tell him that wasn’t my shopping, he replies telling me he didn’t know, just paid for what the girl at the counter told him had been left behind. We open the bags to discover items that we wouldn’t ordinarily buy. Looks like we’ll be having stir fry and noodles tonight. and we’ve enough rice to shake a stick at.

The Robert Knight classic, ‘Love on a Mountain Top’ begins to play as I set about doing some mundane jobs. I’m cleaning the bathroom, when I notice the toilet cleaner is called Bloo, however, ‘blue’ it is not.