Daytime TV

Tuesday 3 April 2012 – Yesterday I turned off the iPod and settled down to watch a little daytime TV, I managed to swallow a little of Daybreak, I even watched a morsel of Lorraine; but it was the hard core shows I was interested in, those stalwarts of the programming schedule.

I allowed my senses to be assaulted by Jeremy Kyle, and the assorted brain dead morons that come on his show to be patronised, shouted at and derided by this dreadful man.

Then I tuned into an episode of Bargain Hunt the only show where you win by losing, it’s an odd concept; lose money to win the show, surely if you want to encourage people to buy and sell crap (oops antiques), show them making a profit.

And don't get me started on Cash in the Attic, how many people have one of George Formby's ukelele's in the loft, and a sketch by Dali in the kitchen draw?

Following a quick breather to escape this televisual self inflicted Alzheimer's, I decided to give Loose Women a go. Having sat through this drivel dressed up as entertainment, I think it needs to re-branded, the reason being; it has no content, it’s format is so loose it’s positively slack, so maybe it should be called Slack Women, to give a clear indication of what the show’s like and possibly one or two of its presenters.

My early afternoon is taken up with Midsomer Murders, a crime show that I believe is in its fifteenth series. Despite being a well made show, I’m sure there can’t be many people left alive in the Midsomer villages, as the sensible villagers have surely moved out after the constant killing sprees that occur.

As the closing credits roll, I realise my brain now resembles semifreddo and my backside is a numb as a polar bear’s nose. There’s only one thing for it, a quick stroll to get the blood flowing, and a few deep breaths of fresh air. Sadly I can’t do this as it’s now time for Come Dine With Me.