Excessive Expletives

Wednesday 21 March 2012 – Now I’m not a fan of censorship; believing that people must be allowed to make their own choices. Obviously there are some things that we must outlaw; although here is not the place to talk about the likes of child pornography, snuff movies and videoed rape: these types of entertainment, I expect all civilised people agree are repugnant.

What I am talking about today is, swearing. Now the odd F word has been known to fall from my lips, occasionally the C word and more times than should ‘bollocks’. I believe there’s a place for expletives: an intelligent person with a wide ranging vocabulary can use them for emphasis, humour even in conflict. It’s their intelligence and ability to string a coherent sentence together that makes the expletive, an important part of the statement, which does not denigrate what is being said.

Today I’m walking around one of our top four supermarkets, iPod is playing as usual: Alison Moyet is singing the classic, ‘Cry Me a River’. I turn a corner and the aisle is blocked by a woman chatting on her (pink) mobile phone. I do the British thing and wait for her to see me and move the trolley that’s impeding my access. She looks up briefly, then goes back to her conversation. I take the ear-bud out of my right ear and am about to say “Excuse me, can I pass.” when I catch her conversation; a dialogue peppered liberally with the F word. It sort of goes like this: “Do you f***** think she’ll go?” Pause.  “No, she never f**** does, does she. Pause F**** waste of f***** space.” Pause. “Yeah, I’m gonna get f***** wasted, f**** yeah.” Pause. “I saw her f***** brother yesterday, f****** tosser he is.” Pause. “I know, he can’t f***** get a f**** job.” Pause “Did you see f***** corrie the other f**** night?” Pause. “Yeah, I f***** reckon it was f**** Kevin that killed him.” Pause. “F**** yeah.”

By this point I’m fed up of waiting for her to move, so I say loudly, “Can you move your f***** trolley.” I am not surprised to hear her call me a f***** tosser as I walk past.

In my opinion, if someone can only form a sentence and use the F word constantly, it not only loses its impact, it also indicates that the speaker is of a low intelligence, and unable to use a vast range of words to express themselves.

I plug in my right ear-bud and walk away as,Grandmaster Flash play ‘Electric Slide’, now, where have they moved the capers too?